By: Dr. Jerry Bergman
Montpelier, Ohio
In my public presentations in over 400 churches, the pastor, or one of the church members, often treats me to lunch and conversation.
Realizing that his concerns will not go beyond me, he often discusses church problems. Openly talking to another church member could create problems if it gets back to the congregation.
One concern an elder related to me was that the Pastor, for the over 30 years he attended the church, often preached on sin, how we were all sinners, and Jesus’ sacrifice paid for those sins, explaining,
“The songs we sang were often about the gross sin we sinners are burdened with, and that Christ’s sacrifice will wipe out our sin, no matter how serious. No problem here.
“My concern was, as far as I can remember, he never talked about what specifically was sin. Obviously murder, rape, bank robbery, and similar transgressions are sin, but what about the many other behaviors which the Bible labels as sin?”
“One example in our church was a 93-year-old widow’s health had deteriorated, forcing her to move into assisted living.
“The pastor asked the congregation for some members to help her move. Her family was living three states away and was unable to help her move. Her two sons were in their 70s and not in good health. In short, not one congregant offered to help her move.
“She ended up having the assisted living staff move her, which cost her over 1,200 dollars, her monthly social security income. The scripture teaching in this area is clear: Exodus 22:22-24 warns against treating widows poorly.
“James 1:27 talks about the Christian requirement to visit widows and give them help when needed. Additionally, God demands support and care for widows and loves those helping them.”
Another example he cited was a man who was spending more and more time with a young lady friend of the family. He was not sneaking around, and his wife knew where he was.
Even so, after about two years, the woman’s friend became pregnant. As a Christian, she refused to get an abortion and delivered a healthy, 8-pound boy. The woman pressured the father to divorce his wife and marry her. He adamantly refused.
This dilemma he was involved in was clearly the result of sin, but the first sin was neglecting his wife. The Scriptures instruct husbands to treat their wives with respect and consideration (1 Peter 3:7). 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 highlights the importance of intimacy and meeting each other’s needs in marriage.
Marriage is a covenant relationship requiring dedication and loyalty. Malachi 2:15-16 addresses marital unfaithfulness, emphasizing God’s desire for love and respect in marriage. Providing for the family’s well-being is important, as mentioned in 1 Timothy 5:8.
Hebrews 13:4 states marriage must be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all those who are sexually immoral.
The Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of Adam, and he brought her to the man. Adam then said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh (Genesis 2:18, 21-24). He added, none of these scriptures were ever mentioned in church.
Another case he mentioned involved a father who, according to the mother, was aggressively hard on their son. The son was clearly adversely affected by his father’s overbearing dominance.
Even the school noticed that the boy was having major emotional problems and pressured the parents to seek help.
The father, who was an elder in the church, insisted the boy needed discipline and, as the head of the household, must be taught to rigidly conform to his demands.
The Biblical instruction in this case is clear: “fathers, do not exasperate your children.” Ephesians 6:4 emphasizes the importance of avoiding actions that cause children to become angry, discouraged, or lose heart.
This involves treating one’s children with respect, avoiding harshness, and providing loving guidance rather than provoking them with unreasonable or unfair treatment.
My dinner companion also mentioned, “Our pastor has never, as far as I can remember, given a single sermon on the proper role of parents. I would say this is a sin on the part of the father, that should be covered in sermons.”
One last example was the sin of a woman grossly mistreating her spouse by verbally mocking him and lambasting him in front of many church members.
Now divorced, sermons on proper Christian behavior would have been very valuable to them. “The Scriptures are clear on this, yet I have never heard a single sermon on Christian marriage, except at weddings.”
The Bible teaches, “If I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love for others, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor but do not have love, I am nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” – 1 Corinthians 13:2-7.
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Dr. Jerry Bergman has taught biology, genetics, chemistry, biochemistry, anthropology, geology, and microbiology for over 40 years at several colleges and universities including Bowling Green State University, Medical College of Ohio where he was a research associate in experimental pathology, and The University of Toledo. He is a graduate of the Medical College of Ohio, Wayne State University in Detroit, the University of Toledo, and Bowling Green State University. He has over 1,800 publications in 12 languages and 60 books and monographs. His books and textbooks that include chapters that he authored are in over 1,500 college libraries in 27 countries. All 60 of Bergman’s books are on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other bookstores.