By: Steve Wilmot
Edgerton, Ohio
Emotions. Emotions can mess us up. They can convince us that things are worse than they really are. They can color our perspective on today and our future.
Feelings are a gift from God, but they are unreliable. Just because we feel a certain way doesn’t make it true. And that’s where the problems lie. We don’t discern the difference between how we feel and what actually is.
If we don’t control our feelings, they will control our thoughts, words and behavior.
We are far more likely to make bad decisions and come to wrong conclusions when our emotions control us. That almost always results in devastating consequences to us and to others.
Depression drives us to suicide. Discouragement causes us to give up. Fear holds us back from doing something God wants us to do.
Resentment sets off a series of vengeful actions. Anger triggers out-of-control responses. Loneliness brings about the conclusion that nobody likes us, and we’ll never be happy again.
When negative feelings control us, bad things happen… unless we learn to deal with and control our emotions.
The first thing we must do to control our emotions is identify what we’re feeling. Is it anger, discouragement, insecurity, depression, fear, inferiority, anxiety? You can’t tame it until you name it.
Second, we must question the emotion. Not everything you feel is real. In fact, most of it isn’t. That may come as a surprise to you. So before you accept your feelings as real, stop and ask a couple of questions.
Are things as bad as they feel? Stop and take an honest appraisal. Notice others’ situations.
Where did these feelings come from? Satan whispering lies which triggered the unhealthy emotion? Programmed reactions from your past?
What’s the truth? Does how you feel line up with what God says? Let’s say you don’t feel forgiven. Is that the truth? What does God say? He says you ARE forgiven. Do you believe what God said or what you feel? Serious question.
Martin Luther wrote:
Feelings come and feelings go
And feelings are deceiving;
My warrant is the Word of God,
Naught else is worth believing.
So, question your feelings and determine to stand on God’s Word. Third, we must change the emotion.
“I wish I could,” you insist. “That’s my problem. I can’t control my emotions.” Sure, you can, but it depends entirely on you to make the right decision. There are two ways to change an emotion.
The first we saw already: choose to believe God’s Word—what He says, not your feelings. The second: choose to act according to God’s Word.
Don’t let your feelings dictate your actions. Let your actions dictate your emotions. Contrary to popular opinion, love is not a feeling. The feelings are created by our actions. Notice in 1 Corinthians 13, Paul describes love with a verb. A doing verb. An action verb.
“Love is patient… kind… isn’t rude… doesn’t keep a record of wrongs… protects… trusts… hopes… perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).
Those aren’t feelings; they’re the product of doing those things. You don’t feel in love with your spouse anymore?
Do the things you did when you fell in love. Do the loving thing—whether you feel like it or not—and you’ll feel emotional love for your spouse again.
Don’t believe me? Try it for a month. Don’t let your emotions control you—it always produces a gloomy life. Control them.
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Steve Wilmot is a former Edgerton, Ohio area pastor who now seeks “to still bear fruit in old age” through writing. He is the author of seven books designed to assist believers to make steady progress on their spiritual journey.