By: Dr. Jerry Bergman
Montpelier, Ohio
After visiting over 400 churches in the last three decades, one element that seems endemic to American Christianity is church migration, movement from one church to another. This problem includes both the pastors and the congregation.
One survey revealed that the average tenure for a pastor in one church ranges from 3 to 7 years, indicating many leave before the “honeymoon” period ends. Effective ministry often requires 5 to 7 years, making short tenures a concern for long-term church health.
Dissatisfaction grows, and pastors are either asked to leave or decide to move on. One study compared the problem to “squeezing the toothpaste tube from the middle,” the fact that proverbial minor, everyday differences in habit or personality cause friction in close relationships, particularly marriages. This is also true in churches.
One example was a family that gifted their church an 1800-era ornate organ. The pastor did not like it, and a month later it disappeared. I, as did those I talked to, thought it fit in with the existing church décor perfectly.
This was a small insult, one which many more added up, resulting in the family and many of the members leaving the church. The pastor appeared to care less.
Another example was a young man with a mild intellectual disability, whom the pastor was helping. The young man was not always tactful with others in the congregation, mostly the ladies. Again, this resulted in a split in the church, involving several who were not motivated to join any other church.
Christian Behavior Not Stressed
Part of the problem is, in my experience, that Christian behavior is rarely stressed in sermons. Topics typically covered included prophecy, early church history, and, especially, we are all sinners with the need for forgiveness of our sins.
All of these concerns are important, but in many churches, we hear sermons about sin, sing songs about sin, pray for forgiveness of sin, but ignore the many scriptures that cover preventing sin.
Examples include the scriptural advice for getting along with others and avoiding strife over minor issues. As Paul stressed, “I appeal to you, dear brothers and sisters, by the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, to live in harmony with each other united in thought and purpose.”
(1 Corinthians 1:10). Paul added, “We must strive to get along with each other, and forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, you must forgive that person, just as Christ forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13). “Welcome other belivers, but do not quarrel over opinions!” (Romans 14:1). “Speak the truth in love, to grow up in every way into him who is the head of the church, take the lead in living a Christian life” (Ephesians 4:15).
The key is looking out for others’ interests: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you looking out for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).
“We must bear the burdens of others, encouraging the weak, and pursuing peace with all people” (Romans 12:16-18; Galatians 6:2).
In short, Love never gives up, cares more for others than for self, doesn’t want what it doesn’t have, doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, doesn’t live a “me first” life, doesn’t fly off the handle, and doesn’t keep score of the sins of others (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).
The two greatest commandments (Mark 12:31) are to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength,” and to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” All other laws and teachings are based on these two principles of love.
1 Corinthians 13 teaches, “if I speak in the tongues of men or angels, but do not have love, I am only making noise. If I can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and have faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor but do not have love, I gain nothing.”
Love is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me…These three remain: faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love.
When I was young, I heard many sermons focusing on these and other scriptures that stress Christian behavior. As I now have to miss some sermons due to traveling to creation groups to speak, and therefore may have missed some sermons on behavior, but I do not remember a single sermon focusing on these scriptures. Instead, the focus often seems to be on our many unnamed sins and shortcomings.
As any good parent knows, helping children requires stressing the positive, not the negative. If you kept telling your young daughter that she is a lazy good-for-nothing girl, full of sin, and a willful sinner requiring that she beg for forgiveness, she will likely not turn out well.
I did not always follow these ideals, but they did much to shape me in my Christian walk. A pastor should, at least once a year, give a sermon on Christian behavior, providing examples such as I presented in my last column.
If we applied these scriptures in our lives, most of the problems in churches would not exist. Could you forgive a woman whose prevarication in court resulted in your serving six years in prison? Or forgive in public the man who murdered your husband, as Erika Kirk did? This is true Christian behavior.
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Dr. Bergman is a multi-award-winning professor and author. Has 9 degrees and has taught at both the graduate and undergraduate level for over 40 years. His over 2,100 publications are in both scholarly and popular journals. Dr. Bergman’s work has been translated into 15 languages. He has spoken over 2,000 times to college, university and church groups in America, Canada, Europe, the South Sea Islands, and Africa. He lives in Montpelier and is available to present in churches and schools. Jerry can be reached at JerryBergman30@yahoo.com