By: Steve Wilmot
Edgerton, Ohio
Ever feel unappreciated? Taken advantage of? You help someone, make sacrifices, and in return you’re tossed aside like an old rag.
You know what I’m talking about. You serve in your church for decades, and no one notices. You initiate a project that saves your company tons of money, but a co-worker gets credit for it.
It isn’t fair, and it hurts. How do you respond when something like that happens? The Bible talks about an old man who suffered this very fate.
Samuel spoke God’s Word to Israel for decades. He prayed for them daily. During his years as their leader, Israel lived in peace and safety.
And what thanks did he get for it? A plaque? Maybe a special day to honor him for all his years of service and sacrifice? Or a fancy dinner and a watch? No.
“All the elders of Israel gathered together and said to Samuel, ‘You are old… now appoint a king to lead us'” (1 Samuel 8.4-5).
Rejected. Replaced. Kicked to the curb without a second thought. How do you respond when you’re treated like that? Let Samuel show you how to do it the right way. First, he took his hurt to God.
But, when they said, ‘Give us a king to lead us,’ this displeased Samuel; so he prayed to the Lord. And the Lord told him: ‘Listen to all the people are saying to you'” (1Samuel 8.6-7).
The hasty dismissal hurt Samuel. After all he did for them over several decades. As I’ve observed people over the years, I’ve discovered we do one or more of the following.
•Defend ourselves. We try to make clear how good of a person we’ve been and how badly they’ve treated us.
•Lash out. As someone once said, “Hurt people hurt people.” Rejection and a lack of gratitude hurt, so we decide to make someone else hurt. Get even.
•Spread the word. Tell others about the injustice done to us to get them to take our side and get mad at the other person. Gather allies.
•Withdraw. If they don’t appreciate you, take your toys and go home. No one is going to hurt you again. They’ll see how valuable you are and regret the way they treated you.
It’s normal to respond in any of these ways when you’re devalued. But it’s not how Samuel reacted. He trusted in God and poured out his heart to him. He didn’t tell anyone else; he took his hurt and pain to God.
When you get tossed aside unceremoniously, follow Samuel’s example. Pour out your hurt to God. Don’t deny the pain. Let him wrap his arms around you and leave the situation to him.
Second, Samuel continued to love and help those who didn’t appreciate him. “As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you. And I will teach you the way that is good and right” (1 Samuel 12.23).
Don’t cut yourself off from those who don’t value you. Persist in prayer for them. Stay available. Continue to love. Keep your eyes open for ways to aid and serve them in times of need.
Finally, Samuel checked his motives. When we’re unappreciated and taken advantage of, the question we need to ask is: Why am I helping this person? Why did I sign up for this task? For recognition and appreciation? Or because it’s what a Christian does?
Jesus poses a question through a parable that gets to the heart of this issue. “Suppose one of you had a servant… Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, ‘Come along now and sit down to eat’? Would he not rather say, ‘Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink’? Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do?” (Luke 17.7-9).
Jesus clarifies his point in the next verse. “So, you also, when you have done everything, you were told to do, should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty’” (Luke 17.10).
When you love your kids and raise them the best you can, you’re only doing your duty. Should you expect a pat on the back for it? It’s what parents do.
When you’re hurt because your spouse doesn’t praise you for loving and caring and sacrificing and staying faithful over the years, you’re only doing what you should do. It’s what you signed up for when you married. You’re only doing your duty.
Friend, God sees what you do for others, even if it doesn’t receive a standing ovation. Or even a little credit. God sees, and he will reward you with something far more valuable than a pat on the back or your picture in the newspaper.
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Steve Wilmot is a former Edgerton, Ohio area pastor who now seeks “to still bear fruit in old age” through writing. He is the author of seven books designed to assist believers to make steady progress on their spiritual journey.