By: Mike Kelly
Retired Pastor
Silly question. Been Hurt? Everyone has been hurt. Sometimes in minor ways, other times in life altering ways. Maybe my feelings were hurt (minor), maybe my parents died when I was young (life altering).
Sometimes, the hurt is self-inflicted like my self-talk telling me I’m no good. Sometimes, others hurt me like being betrayed by a good friend.
So, what do you do when you’re hurt? Whine? Shout and scream? Blow-up? Cuss a blue streak? Complain to everyone you meet? Pray for hail and evil to attack the one who hurt you?
Stick needles in a voodoo doll? Or, my favorite, plot revenge. When Jesus was being arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, he told his disciples who wanted to fight (Matt 26:53).
“Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of angels?” Think about that. That’s over 60,000 warrior angels!
In Isaiah we read of 1 angel killing 135,000 Assyrians in 1 night, that means the army available to Jesus with basically a nod of his head would be able to destroy 11 billion people in 8 hours.
Seems like overkill if you’ll pardon the pun. He was righteous, without sin. He had every right to defend himself. We, on the other hand, are seldom persecuted for being unselfish.
Often our persecutions and trials grow out of our own actions. But, yes, sometimes we are victims of other’s evil deeds. So, what is the Biblical way to handle hurt? We won’t like the answer. Or at least I don‘t.
Rom 12:1 says: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.”
In other words, endure without complaint like Jesus did. Prov 4:23 piles on with “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Bitterness will lead to a hard heart and that will close us off to receiving love and to experiencing true joy. We will never heal if we harden our hearts. We also need to watch our thoughts.
Lying awake at night thinking about what occurred and the injustice of it is not the answer. Nor is plotting revenge.
2 Cor 10:5b “take every thought captive to obey Christ,” Our thoughts can destroy us from within. We need to be aware of them and each time we realize we are not thinking the thoughts of Christ, we need to bind that thought and cast it out of our minds.
Additionally, we need to forgive and choose to live at peace. Matt 6:14 “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”
Failing to forgive puts us at cross purposes with God and his grace. We need to forgive with the same measure we hope to be forgiven. Lastly, we need to be proactive.
Rom 12:17-18 advises us: “Repay no one evil for evil but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
To the contrary, if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.” What will result if we try things God’s Way? We will grow in our walk with Christ. Heb 12:12: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.
Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Endure, guard your heart, take wrong thoughts captive, forgive and bless the one who persecutes you. That’s how to handle hurt and to grow in our relationship with God.
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Mike Kelly is the founding pastor of Bryan’s Grace Community Church (retired) and Board Chairman of Bryan’s Sanctuary Homeless Shelter and Williams County’s Compassion (free) Medical Clinic.