By: Mike Kelly – Retired Pastor
Bryan, Ohio
Did you know your pastor thinks about quitting? 40% of current pastors are dwelling on the idea of a new career. 1000s leave the ministry every year.
We have a pastoral shortage already, and the gap will only get bigger as more pastors are stressed with additional congregations, more funerals, greatly limited finances in the church, and emptier pews.
The picture can get pretty gloomy. In Williams County, the number of churches that have grown since the Covid epidemic is far fewer than the number that have shrunk.
I could think of only four churches that are seeing noticeable growth. All the others are off considerably in attendance since 2020.
Pastors will tell you that they think in terms of spiritual growth rather than numerical growth. Maybe. Nevertheless, “Negative Growth,” as one called it, will stress the pastor because his salary is attached to the financial stability of the church.
Few churches have the kind of funding that paying bills is not a worry when the weekly income shrinks. Eventually, the pastor’s salary and the number of pastors on staff have to adjust to the income.
In general, a church under 75 in average attendance cannot support a full-time pastor. That means those pastors in small churches must find another source of income.
Bi-vocational pastors then face working too many hours, and that brings family issues and maybe even resentment. It is certainly not ideal.
All this adds up to stress on pastors and the desire to try another occupation. It is our responsibility to help ease their burdens whenever we can.
Paul said, “We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. (1 Thes 5:12)
What are the challenges that pastors report facing? The greatest single issue for pastors is loneliness. They lack a friend whom they can trust, not to share what they talk about.
Everyone needs a sounding board, especially those in ministry who spend considerable time with broken people. And this friend almost has to come out of the congregation since pastors don’t have time for relationships outside the congregation. Pray that your pastor finds just the right confidante.
The second issue that pastors struggle with is boundaries. Pastors are not machines, nor invincible, nor a god! Even Jesus needed a rest from time to time. He had to leave the crowds, the people who demanded so much.
Too many pastors ignore the warning signs of burnout until it is too late. They feel they must keep going for the sake of their church. That’s bad boundaries. But, if a pastor lacks good self-care, shouldn’t the church care for them?
Aren’t church boards charged with caring for the pastor? Why would the board allow them to skip vacations? To not provide sabbaticals? To not insist they keep their day off sacred, barring a great emergency?
The third stressor is vision. Vision is a burden. It drives us to get up and move. It’s an actual weight pastors feel that no one else can understand.
When the church struggles with the pastor’s vision or even opposes it, the pastor feels like the guy pushing a boulder up a hill. Ministry becomes exhausting. Let me state clearly that I believe the pastor is the one God communicates to about vision for the church.
Now, that vision needs to be worked out among the leadership, but it’s not about judging the validity of the vision, it’s about how best to implement it.
You can help greatly by trusting your pastor has heard correctly and finding ways to encourage that vision and its implementation. Assume first that it is from God rather than assume first that the pastor doesn’t hear God correctly.
I think a good fourth issue is the unrealistic demands of the congregation. Almost every solo pastor and many where there is staff are on call 24/7. And that is as it should be.
A pastor’s role is to be God’s representative on earth, and we feel the need for God most during crises. Every congregant has a justifiable expectation that their pastor will be there for them if an emergency occurs. Unfortunately, people define crises differently.
Calling your pastor at 3 AM because you are driving yourself to the ER with a stomachache does not qualify. Calling him or her at 3 AM because you just got a call from the police that your 16-year-old was in a serious car accident would be justifiable.
Also, pastors can’t be everything to everyone. Not all pastors can lead worship and play a piano or guitar. Not all can run a meeting. Not all can preach like Billy Graham or Robert Shuler. Not all have the time to visit everyone at home or call on everyone in a nursing home every week.
Here’s a news flash for you…Pastors have a life outside the church or at least should have. They generally have spouses and families. They may even have a hobby.
And not every pastor is perfect! As a matter of fact, every pastor I have ever met has serious flaws. We, like you, are fallen, wounded people with emotional and personality limitations.
We don’t know everything. We often feel like the blind guide leading the blind man. We lose our tempers, we fall to temptations, we get angry at God, we cry when we bury our best friend after everyone leaves. We are no more perfect than those sitting in the pews.
But what we are is called by God! We don’t have a real choice. We didn’t ask for this responsibility.
We’re more often like Moses, who made five objections to God’s call at the burning bush (Exodus 3–4): “Who am I?” “Who are You?” “They won’t believe me,” “I’m not good at this,” and “Please send someone else,” but we answered anyway. They deserve your respect, love, and care.
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Mike Kelly is the founding pastor of Bryan’s Grace Community Church (retired) and Board Chairman of Bryan’s Sanctuary Homeless Shelter and Williams County’s Compassion (free) Medical Clinic.