By: Dr. Jerry Bergman
Montpelier, Ohio
This is the mother’s story, so I will let her tell it.
After earning my RN degree, I completed my BA in nursing and then my master’s degree.
I had worked up to the level of nursing supervisor. Then one day a fellow nurse brought in her one-year-old daughter to meet the staff.
I was thirty-four, unmarried and had always put my career first. The sight of this little girl, who made a big fuss over me, made me wonder, is this all there is to life?
I was not by any means unhappy, just thinking. I asked a co-worker at the hospital, who was a few years younger than I, about how she met her husband.
‘Easy. He was just hired, I learned he was single, and I put my mind to get to know him. Other single nurses also noticed him. I brought him a homemade lunch and we ate lunch together every day. I learned his wife had died from COVID, he was lonely, and I was a good conversationalist. We had a lot of common interests, got to know each other’s family. His parents liked me, and mine liked him. About a year after we met, we got married.’
About this time, I was transferred to another hospital that was part of the chain I worked for. Word got around that I was single and soon several men showed an interest in me. This was not unusual.
I was an attractive, young-looking, thirty-four-year-old woman, not a pound overweight. This time, in contrast to before, I showed an interest in those who showed an interest in me.
Soon one man, the divorced hospital administrator, and I were a twosome. We regularly ate lunch together. We both wanted a child. We were both interested in sports.
After six months, we were married. A few month later I became pregnant. I knew, as I was over age 35, that the risk of Down syndrome and other trisomy’s was high. For this reason, I was regularly evaluated by my doctor.
My first-trimester test included an ultrasound and blood test to analyze fetal DNA for chromosomal abnormalities. None were found. A gestational test at twenty weeks measured four substances in my blood to assess the risk. It confirmed the baby, a girl, was positive for trisomy 18, Edwards syndrome. Prenatal testing includes chorionic villus sampling (CVS) from the placenta or amniocentesis of the amniotic fluid from the uterus.
It Was a Shock
I knew that every child with trisomy 18 is unique and will experience different symptoms and challenges. They typically have a number of physical and developmental abnormalities, including a small head and face, heart defects, clenched fists with overlapping fingers, low-set ears, a short sternum (breastbone), rocker-bottom feet, intellectual disability, and seizures. I was terrified.
The doctor made clear that these issues were all a concern. I was then pressured by the staff and friends to have an abortion. The child would require full-time care and it could end my nursing career.
I told them, “I am going to have my daughter, and I will love her more than another child because I knew my time with her may be less than a year. During that year I would do everything I possibly could to help her be the happiest baby in the world. I would put my entire self in her care, just as I did in my career.”
My husband was totally supportive, even discussing taking a leave from the hospital to do his part, exclaiming ‘she is my daughter and I am fully committed to do what is necessary to make her short life as happy as possible.’
When she was born, she looked like any other newborn I had ever seen. I was relieved. Maybe the diagnosis was wrong? I knew that most babies with trisomy 18 do not survive beyond their first year of life, but with proper care and support some may live longer.
She had anemia, chronic lung problems, congenital heart malformations (bicuspid aortic valve, pulmonic valve stenosis, Dandy-Walker malformation, fetal growth retardation, and laryngomalacia).
Because of this, I would not be able to feed her by mouth. She also had gastroesophageal reflux and obstructive sleep apnea.
At a month old, she received a catheterized balloon procedure to place a balloon inside her aortic valve to open it so blood could flow from her heart to her lungs. Three weeks after being home, she was rushed back to the hospital for respiratory issues.
In spite of these issues we loved her and treated her as the special child as she was. She flourished, blossomed, and was growing wonderfully. She lived to be sixteen months old.
Our sixteen months with her was among the happiest of my and my husband’s life. She was a very happy baby in spite of her serious health problems. She smiled happily at every glance we gave her.
We will forever remember the enormous joy that she brought to us and our family. She may have had more joy in life than many three year old’s. I must add that the Trisomy 18 Foundation was of enormous help to us.
I learned from them that many couples choose not to abort, and none of them regretted it. Our wonderful memories of her are a precious gift we would not, as the expression goes, trade for anything.
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Dr. Jerry Bergman has taught biology, genetics, chemistry, biochemistry, anthropology, geology, and microbiology for over 40 years at several colleges and universities including Bowling Green State University, Medical College of Ohio where he was a research associate in experimental pathology, and The University of Toledo. He is a graduate of the Medical College of Ohio, Wayne State University in Detroit, the University of Toledo, and Bowling Green State University. He has over 1,800 publications in 12 languages and 60 books and monographs. His books and textbooks that include chapters that he authored are in over 1,500 college libraries in 27 countries. All 60 of Bergman’s books are on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other bookstores.
