By: Steve Wilmot
Bishop Potter was sailing to Europe on one of the great transatlantic ocean liners. When he boarded the ship, he learned another passenger was booked to share the cabin with him.
After looking over the accommodation, he went to the purser’s desk and inquired if he could leave his gold watch and other valuables in the ship’s safe.
He explained that ordinarily he never availed himself of that privilege, but he had been to his cabin and had met the man who was to occupy the other berth.
Judging from his appearance, he was afraid that he might not be a very trustworthy person.
The purser accepted the responsibility for the valuables and remarked, “It’s all right, bishop, I’ll be very glad to take care of them for you. The other man has been up here already and left his for the same reason!”
Sadly, it’s easy to jump to conclusions about other people. It’s called judging, something we’ve all done. Paul is very clear in 1 Corinthians 5 that we who are Christ followers are never to judge anyone who is not following Jesus.
“I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world…What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? God will judge those outside.” (1 Corinthians 5.9-10, 12-13).
Why would we ever think it’s okay to judge non-believers for their behavior? You can’t expect a non-Christian to act like a Christian. So don’t judge them. It’s none of your business.
But with fellow believers, their walk with Jesus is our business. That’s Paul’s main point if you read the entire chapter. He makes crystal clear that we are to judge those who are fellow Christ-followers.
The Bible insists that we are to approach another believer who we see is on the verge of making a decision that will lead him somewhere he’ll wish he had never gone. We should warn him and urge him to reconsider that decision before it’s too late.
Maybe you’ve tried to warn a fellow Christ-follower, and his response was, “It’s none of your business.” Or maybe you’ve let a friend make a terrible decision because you believed it was none of your business.
You didn’t want to hurt his feelings. You hate confrontation. You were afraid it would end your friendship by sticking your nose in his business. Listen, if your friend claims to be a Christian, it IS your business.
Dietrick Bonhoeffer wrote something that runs counter to the thinking of many on this subject. “Nothing can be more cruel than the tenderness that consigns another to his sin. Nothing can be more compassionate than the severe rebuke that calls a brother back from the path of sin.”
Bonhoeffer makes a great point. Because we don’t want to upset a sinning friend, we leave him alone without a word of warning. And we think this is compassionate. That we are showing him love.
The Corinthian church had a situation in which two of their members were having an affair. It was known by everyone in the community — even unbelievers. But the Christians in their church did nothing about it. So Paul writes to tell them to get involved. That it is their business.
“It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this?…Hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord (1 Corinthians 5.1-2, 5)
They said nothing about it to the couple. They were “proud” of their tolerance toward this couple. They thought they were doing the loving thing by not making an issue of their sin. They thought they were compassionate believers who didn’t want to offend or ruffle anyone’s feathers.
Bonhoeffer, like Paul says that’s neither love nor compassion. The loving thing is to rebuke the sinning brother, even severely if necessary. While it is uncomfortable for you, the fact is it’s cruel and uncaring to leave him in his sin.
Which is better, to initiate pain for future gain, or to say nothing for future pain? Sometimes doing the loving thing is the hard thing. Sometimes it’s an uncomfortable thing.
You may lose a friend — at least until the consequences of his actions open his eyes. At times, your friend will realize his wrong and take steps to get out of that sin. Or he’ll reverse a decision he was planning to make.
But regardless of the response you get, it is your business. James gives us a reason to get involved with each other in this difficult business.
He writes, “My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins” (James 5.19-20).
Isn’t that worth a little conflict and discomfort?
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Steve Wilmot is a former Edgerton, Ohio area pastor who now seeks “to still bear fruit in old age” through writing. He is the author of seven books designed to assist believers to make steady progress on their spiritual journey.