By: Marlene Oxender
Montpelier, Ohio
I was recently asked if I could name a food that ages you. I chuckled as I learned the answer was a clever one: birthday cake. But even better was the second answer: wedding cake.
I grew up in a small town where wedding anniversaries were often announced in the newspaper along with a photo of the couple. The entire community was invited to attend a reception in honor of the couple who’d been married an awfully long time.
It was a big deal back then. If the couple had been married for 25 years, they were celebrating their silver wedding anniversary. If they’d been married 50 years, it was their golden anniversary.
The reception was often held in a church basement where we’d find a decorated cake at the punch table. Nuts and mints were served in little paper cups. Guests would find a seat and sit and talk for a while. The men wore suits and ties. The women wore dresses.
As a child, I could never understand why older people were in disbelief about how old they were getting to be. After all, they were there through it all. They were the ones who lived each day.
I remember attending my Grandma and Grandpa Imm’s 50th wedding anniversary reception. Grandma saved the greeting cards they’d received, and even today I sift through them and read the names of family and friends who’d signed the cards.
In one of the boxes from their estate was a cake topper that’s gold in color with the words “50th Anniversary” displayed across the top.
Days after I’d placed it in the box of things I’d be giving to the secondhand store, I decided I should flip through their little photo book and see if that cake topper was in their anniversary pictures. And there it was – sitting atop their two-tiered anniversary cake.
That meant I would need to dig the item back out of the box and store it in my box of vintage anniversary cards. Our mother had also saved some silver wrapping paper with a paisley print design. Now that I have a granddaughter by the name of Paisley, I may someday give her a gift wrapped in that silver wrapping paper from 1972.
In a few years, my nieces and nephews will begin celebrating their silver wedding anniversaries. I’m sure they’ll be delighted to open a greeting card from me and find a 25th Anniversary paper napkin from my mother’s collection of stuff she saved for us.
My siblings and I are in a group text, and if anyone is having a birthday or anniversary, it’ll be mentioned early in the morning. It’s an interesting conversation with plenty of comments about numbers – how old we are or what anniversary we’re celebrating.
As the years tick by, we add numbers to the numbers and begin to understand why all those older people were in disbelief regarding their age.
Our photos show how much we’ve changed. We notice how we styled our hair and what was in fashion back in the day. The shoes. The dresses. The tuxedos.
The last time the subject of peach tuxedos came up in our sibling text thread, it made me wonder if there’s a dessert by the same name. After searching online and finding nothing, I came up with my own recipe that I tweaked and named “Peach Tuxedo Parfait.”
And since bow ties are often worn by the groom, I searched for a main dish recipe that includes bow tie pasta and decided upon Chicken Marsala – a favorite of mine.
Of course the menu wouldn’t be complete without an Anniversary Day Salad – which could be any salad you’d like to serve.
If I could spend time once again with my grandparents, I’d laughingly tell them about my search for anniversary day recipes. I’d ask them if they’d like a Tuxedo Latte, and they’d ask me what a latte is. It’d be fun to take them to a coffee shop and see what flavor they’d decide to order. Mine is coconut.
I’d show them how our cell phones now bring our anniversary wishes to us on a screen rather than in a greeting card delivered to our home mailbox. They’d learn what an emoji is and how it’s a new way of communicating.
They’d be happy to know their grandchildren are still in touch with each other, discussing what’s happening today as well as memories of times we’d gathered for family weddings.
My grandparents were married in April of 1923, and I have a copy of their wedding day certificate. I wonder what color Grandpa’s suit was and if he wore a bow tie or a necktie. I’d tell Grandma I know just one detail about her wedding dress – it was made by her neighbor lady. I’d ask her what it looked like and if there are any photos from that day.
I’d tell them how today’s anniversary receptions often take place electronically through shared photos, brief messages, and a string of emojis. We’d likely agree that the way we celebrate has changed, but the intention hasn’t. We mark the day and honor the years.
The color of wedding day tuxedos keeps returning to my sibling text thread simply because it’s a fun memory. Even the search for tuxedo recipes gave us something to talk about.
I imagine Grandma and Grandpa would tell us something we already know: Traditions may change, but the time we spend together talking about memories from yesterday and our plans for tomorrow – served with a dressed-up dessert – is part of the joy of living.
Peach Tuxedo Parfait
•2 cups peaches, sliced
•1 tsp vanilla extract
•Pinch of salt
•1½ cups vanilla pudding or yogurt
•1 cup granola or chocolate cookie crumbs
•Mini chocolate chips and/or mini candy bar bowtie
In a bowl, gently toss the peaches, vanilla, and a pinch of salt. Let sit 10 minutes so the peaches become glossy and saucy. In each parfait glass, repeat layers of peaches, granola, and pudding. Top with chocolate.
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Marlene Oxender is a writer, speaker, and author. She writes about growing up in the small town of Edgerton, her ten siblings, the memorabilia in her parents’ estate, and her late younger brother, Stevie Kimpel, who was born with Down syndrome. Her three published books, Picket Fences, Stevie, and “Grandma, You Already Am Old!” are available on Amazon. Marlene can be reached at mpoxender@gmail.com
