Addiction is more than just the statistics we read about in the news. This series of articles about participants from the Fulton county Drug Court is meant to illuminate the human faces behind the numbers.
They are all part of our Fulton County family, and they are moms, dads, sisters, brothers, daughters, sons. This is the next article in the series that features the story of Earl, as told to by Carol Tiffany, Drug Court Program Coordinator.
My name is Earl and I’m an alcoholic. This is my story. I was born a twin and the youngest of five children.
My oldest brother was nineteen when we were born and my parents were in their forties. I was raised on a 350 acre farm so I was busy helping but also had a lot of space in which to grow.
My parents were religious and gave to the church financially and with labor. I faithfully attended Camp Christian every summer while dad worked at Andersons and on the farm.
The Andersons also had a summer camp that I attended and learned how to swim. t was a great childhood, and I was busy doing something every day.
I had chores around the farm and started driving the farm truck and tractors at ten years old.
Dad led by example and didn’t lecture. He allowed me to make mistakes, and I learned from them.
One time, I plowed the field all day and thought I was finished. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I did not plow deeply enough, so I had to re-do the whole field. I never made that mistake again.
From the ages of ten to fifteen, I helped every day with the farming. Thinking back now, it was the best time of my life.
I was with family on the farm and believed I was working toward my future investment.
My twin brother and I were wild, though. We would sneak out at night and drive the farm equipment all over.
One night the belt broke on our lawnmower, and we couldn’t stop it. The lawnmower went down a steep hill and hit a tree.
We never told our parents we wrecked it, but they probably knew. That Christmas we got an ATV 3-wheeler and continued our wild ways.
Dad didn’t show us how to drive it, and it broke a lot. We got another 3-wheeler a year later that was bigger, faster, and we learned how to take care of it by trial and error. We also were given helmets due to our past “mistakes”.
We had friends who lived down the road from us, and when we visited, we drove on the road which was illegal.
We were thirteen at the time. My brother was driving one day and ran a stop sign, hitting a car. I was thrown from the ATV and landed on the hood of the car while my arm went through the windshield.
I was transported to the hospital and learned I had broken my femur and injured my knee. My leg was in traction and my knee had a pin to stabilize it.
I was in a body cast for three months, but I finally went home still in the full body cast. My brother was on crutches due to a broken knee and was only in the hospital for three days.
It was a miracle that we wore our helmets or it could have been worse! The lady driving was traumatized by this event. Her husband was a lawyer and sued, but my dad settled out of court for $50,000.
I didn’t go to school that year but did really well because I had a tutor. I got tired of being at home and just laying down on the couch all the time so I worked at moving around more than I should have. I wanted to heal, and I was bored, so I willed myself to get up. I used crutches to go upstairs and go outside. I even drove a car in that full body cast! I was strong willed and wanted to help myself which still describes me today. If I want to do something badly enough, I will make it happen.
After I got out of my cast at age fourteen, I hung out with friends who drank and partied.
I was at a friend’s house one night after drinking heavily, and fell off a car breaking my ankle.
I needed to be in a cast, once again. But the truth is, I loved the drinking and the feeling that came with it.
My dad was sick at the time but didn’t tell anyone. He went to the hospital and three days later, he was dead.
I held resentments toward my family because no one ever told me he was dying. I was fifteen at the time and this was very traumatic for me.
My family lost an important person who took care of us and did so many things for others.
Mom didn’t know what to do with the farm or how she was going to manage it.
Sadly, most of my family took advantage of her. She gave me the money I got from Social Security instead of helping me invest it for the future.
I always felt my older brother could have been a better role model and helped guide us.
With my dad gone and the lack of discipline and guidance, I went down a dangerous path.
I had a lot of money coming to me every month so I bought whatever I wanted and went wild.
I bought and wrecked many cars and continued drinking heavily.
An older friend bought me alcohol and introduced me to weed. He unfortunately became my role model for many years.
I started dating when I was seventeen and met a girl who fell head over heels in love with me.
We had mutual friends but went to different schools. She didn’t drink or party and thought she could change me. I was twenty-one when our daughter was born and wanted to do the right thing by marrying her.
The problem was I wasn’t ready to stop partying or settle down, but I promised my wife I would stop.
Two years after my daughter was born, we had our son. Life didn’t get better for us because I broke my promise and continued drinking and smoking weed heavily after work every night.
One night ended with the police being called and both of us were arrested. We both pled guilty to a domestic violence charge and eventually divorced.
I was now twenty-seven and living with my mom. Everything in my life was out of control, and I got my first OVI.
Even though my license was suspended, I continued to drink and drive. My mom enabled me because she didn’t realize how deep I was in my addiction.
By the time I was thirty-five, I had five OVI’s. The last one resulted in eight months in prison.
After prison, I stopped driving and moved out of my mom’s house, but I didn’t stop drinking or partying.
I moved in with a girlfriend who also partied and that became my life’s focus.
In 2010, I struggled finding work, and I got behind with child support.
A Children Protective Service case worker said I could do three months in jail or three months in a rehab facility.
I decided a rehab facility would give me a fresh start for a better life. On completing my obligation in rehab, I thought things would be different, but I went back to my girlfriend and the party continued.
I wanted to change, but I liked the party lifestyle and drinking was part of that.
I felt that I could drink as long as I didn’t drive because I wasn’t breaking the law. I did that “successfully” for twelve years without getting in trouble.
I thought I solved my problem with the law, but I still drank heavily every day. I didn’t think my drinking was a problem, but I was in denial.
If I wasn’t an alcoholic before, I was one now but couldn’t admit it.
I thought I was doing well because I had a job and an apartment. My next girlfriend moved in, and we shared expenses.
Our weekends consisted of hanging out and drinking which never ended well.
We had nothing in common but drinking. She didn’t like my family or friends and that eventually became a problem for me.
I realized I didn’t love her so we broke up. Since she had nowhere to go, I let her stay at my apartment, which was a mistake.
Tensions grew every day she was there, and we drank heavily together. One day we were binging on alcohol, and it led to another domestic violence charge for me.
I went to jail, lost my apartment, was put on probation and in trouble again. I couldn’t follow probation rules and had three probation violations because I couldn’t stop drinking.
I decided to put myself in the Renewal Center which is an addiction rehab facility.
I’m not sure I believed I had an alcohol problem at that time, but I didn’t want fourteen months in prison.
I was also placed in the Fulton County Drug Court, but I struggled in the beginning with all the requirements.
First, I didn’t want to admit I was an alcoholic. Then, I acted like I was the victim in the mess I made of my life.
Once I finally admitted I was an alcoholic, not a victim, and I accepted the responsibility for my part in all of this, the healing started.
During this time, I stayed sober, got my own apartment, stopped smoking, paid my fines, bought a car, and still saved money.
The most exciting accomplishment for me was getting my driver’s license and legally driving for the first time in twenty-three years!
It took me thirty years to find myself because I masked my feelings with alcohol and marijuana.
I was stuck in that destructive cycle for many years. Thanks to Drug Court, I will continue to be sober and keep my mind on track.
My self-esteem and self-worth will also keep me focused because I believe I deserve to be happy.
Sobriety taught me I am an alcoholic, so I know going to AA meetings and listening to others’ stories is essential for my continued success in recovery.
Drug Court gave me the discipline and guidance I lacked and needed after my dad died.
It gave me time to heal and help to make better decisions. Drug Court held me accountable for my actions until I was ready to hold myself accountable.
I reconnected with my family and life is good. I will be graduating from Drug Court in November, and my family will be there to support me.
