By: Mike Kelly
Retired Pastor
I often get chances to visit churches to preach or to talk about the ministries I’m involved in. I’ve discovered that every church is different. Some are very small, some very large, some very polished, others very casual.
Some are very friendly, others not so much. Some are focused on theology or evangelism or acceptance. Some want you to use 1 version of the Bible, others don’t care.
Some want you to dress up, others just want you to come regardless of how well dressed you are. Some sing without instruments, others have full bands or choirs.
And many are not in the extreme ends of any of these issues. They are sort of in the middle stream.
So when I ask “what should a church look like?”, the answer is not going to be any of these. Not everyone likes the same things.
I’m fine with all sorts of churches, denominations, styles, size. As far as I’m concerned, the more churches, the merrier.
We don’t have to agree on everything. If you like a church with hymns and someone else likes a church with a choir and the next guy wants contemporary worship, great!
There’s a church out there for each of them. Being different enhances our appeal and opens up all kinds of new opportunities to attract the unchurched.
I’ll likely get tar and feathered for this, but different theologies are fine too. If you want to believe the Body of Christ is in that bread, fine.
If you want to believe that our salvation is irreversible, fine. If you want to believe that going to war is immoral for you, fine.
Putting size, style, theology aside, there are some things that make a church a healthy church and some things that make an unhealthy church. An unhealthy church is a bad church.
If you find yourself in one and can’t change the situation, change churches. Unhealthy churches do not know the love of Christ enough to actually live their faith.
They do not understand that sacrifice is essential to a healthy church. Love is the cornerstone of a good church. Love that puts you and your needs above mine defines a healthy church.
A healthy church makes you feel welcome. They should be focused on you when you arrive. And I’m not talking about the people assigned to greet you.
I’m talking about the culture of the church. They should be upbeat and friendly. You should be able to see their interactions with others. There should be a warmth when you walk in the doors.
True, not everyone is an extrovert but we can feel the difference between people who care and people who don’t. So do they genuinely care that you are there?
Is the church involved in the community? What ministries are they doing to take the message of Christ’s love outside the 4 walls? You don’t need a club membership, you need a call to action.
You need to be challenged to give more, do more, pray more, seek God more. There should be open avenues for you to follow that lead to opportunities to live out your faith.
It takes time to discover if the church will preach the whole Word of God. Does the pastor shy away from some of the tough passages or topics? God teaches about life in His word… and life is kind of messy.
Do the sermons deal with sin and money and sex and hot topics? Are they practical? Will they give you something to chew on when you’re at work tomorrow? Is there enough meat for the Holy Spirit to use to help mature you?
Is there an attitude that we can agree to disagree? Rigidity is not a Christian quality or fruit of the spirit. Will they accept you when they discover that you also have clay feet?
When they discover that you don’t agree with everything they teach? When you draw boundaries that they want to cross?
And here is the last word of advice: They are not the perfect church you are looking for. No church is going to be the “perfect” church. You are going to have to compromise.
Their theology may not fully agree with yours but is the issue so big that you cannot attend there? Some churches believe that women shouldn’t teach adults but you are a gifted female teacher. Is that reason enough to move on in your search?
Maybe you believe that Jesus will return before the Tribulation. Maybe they don’t agree. Can you live around that difference?
What should the church look like? It should welcome you, challenge you, care for you, and press you to grow beyond where you are today.
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Mike Kelly is the founding pastor of Bryan’s Grace Community Church (retired) and Board Chairman of Bryan’s Sanctuary Homeless Shelter and Williams County’s Compassion (free) Medical Clinic.
