By: Steve Wilmot
Edgerton, Ohio
Soldiers coming home from war wonder why they were spared when their buddy was killed. Jewish survivors of the Holocaust felt guilty they made it out alive while millions of their fellow Jews were gassed or starved to death.
Patients who survive a life-threatening illness struggle to figure out why they survived and someone else did not. The driver who caused a crash is haunted that he walked away with barely a scratch while his best friend is dead. It’s called “survivor’s guilt.”
In the 1960s, researchers noticed that people who survive traumatic events often experience intense guilt about the fact they are alive when so many others who faced the same situation aren’t. “Why me?” plays repeatedly in their heads.
Those suffering with survivor’s guilt find it extremely frustrating that their questions rarely have good answers. If there was a good reason, the questions might not be so tormenting. But sometimes the answers have more to do with what looks like luck than anything about the survivor or everyone else.
We want the world to make sense. We look for the answers to explain why we survived or why we got well, but these answers are frequently lacking.
In the final analysis, who survives and who doesn’t is not about chance at all. There is a God who makes sense of things even when nothing does. We may never know why we made it through and others did not, but there is always a reason.
In Job’s case, he never knew why all the loss and pain was thrust upon him. His questions to God for an explanation went unanswered.
But there was a reason—Job was proof positive that a man will remain faithful to God even when bad things happen to him. Satan didn’t believe anyone would; God knew better; Job was God’s proof. That was the reason why.
There is a reason for what you’re going through—whether you’re in the middle of a crisis or whether you’re a survivor asking, “why me?”
In the early pioneer days in America, farmers would cut down acres of trees to prepare land for planting crops. But they would always leave one tree standing—the Solitary Tree—its branches reaching up and stretching out.
To a traveler, a solitary tree in a field of corn didn’t make sense. But the farmer spared the tree for a reason that actually made perfect sense. He left it so he and his animals would have a cool place to rest when the hot summer sun beat down on them.
When we are spared where others have fallen, it’s for a reason, too. It’s to raise our hands to heaven in praise and thanksgiving.
It’s to spread our arms to others to provide shade and rest for the weary who are trudging through long days of tragedy and heartache.
It’s to say, “I’ve been there. I know what you’re going through. Let me help. Let me walk through this with you. You don’t have to go it alone.”
“I praise the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us.
“We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too” (2 Corinthians 1.3-5, MSG).
Dear reader suffering with survivor’s guilt, you are a Solitary Tree planted by God. You’ve been prepared through adversity to offer God’s help, comfort, strength, and mercy to others who are going through what you did.
That’s why you survived what others didn’t. So be there for the person who’s going through hard times just as God was there for you.
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Steve Wilmot is a former Edgerton, Ohio area pastor who now seeks “to still bear fruit in old age” through writing. He is the author of seven books designed to assist believers to make steady progress on their spiritual journey.
