By: Steve Wilmot
Edgerton, Ohio
Do you remember what it was like when you first fell in love with the person who became your spouse? It was a time of wonder, exploration, and excitement.
You spent hours talking together to learn about each other. Dates were a weekly staple. Calls and texts to each other were a regular part of your day—even if it was only to ask how their day was going, or to say, “Love you.”
Social media and television didn’t gobble up most of your non-work hours. You didn’t need it. You had each other.
If you’re the guy, you watched Lifetime and Hallmark movies with her because she wanted you to, and it made her happy.
If you’re the gal, you went to various sporting events even when you didn’t understand anything that was going on. But he wanted you to go with him, and it made him happy.
You couldn’t wait to get home to see each other. You couldn’t stop thinking about each other. But somewhere along the line, something happened. Your love cooled.
What happened? You stopped doing the things you were doing that triggered your love to blossom and grow. It wasn’t a conscious decision to let it turn lukewarm, but you didn’t give each other the attention love requires to increase and flourish.
Then an awakening came. This isn’t what you dreamed your marriage would turn into—two strangers living in the same house. There must be more than this.
There is, and you can have it back. Love can be restored and rekindled with a single decision. Devote yourself to do the things you used to do that caused you to fall in love with each other and escalate to the point where you wanted to spend the rest of your lives together.
Remember what it was like when you first fell in love with Jesus? You woke up every morning with a sense of anticipation. You read your Bible every day because it was Jesus’ love letter to you.
Once you learned that prayer was just chatting with God like you talk with a friend, you carried on a daily conversation with him no matter where you were or what you were doing.
You couldn’t wait for Sunday to arrive to gather with other believers in church. You tuned your radio to a Christian station so you were surrounded with music that lifted your spirit and kept your mind on the One you loved.
But over time, gradually, imperceptibly, something happened. Things changed. Your love for Jesus cooled and you started going through the motions.
You still went to church but only because you knew you were supposed to, not because you wanted to. Your Bible gathered dust on your nightstand, and you only prayed when you were in trouble.
What happened? You stopped doing the things you did at first that caused your love for Jesus to blossom and grow. It wasn’t a conscious decision to let your love turn lukewarm, but you quit giving Jesus the attention love requires to increase and flourish.
John Eldredge gets to the crux of the matter: “For many of us, the waves of first love ebbed away in the whirlwind of Christian service and activity, and we began to lose the Romance.”
Your pursuit for a more intimate love relationship with Jesus got elbowed to the side by an exhausting and tedious routine of keeping rules and meeting the expectations your church placed on you. You invested more time on your outer behavior and put your heart on the back burner.
And now you miss the closeness you used to enjoy with Jesus. You yearn to reignite the fire of your love for him. He is all that matters.
Friend, your love affair with Jesus can be jump-started and revved up again. Here’s how: Do the things you did at first when you were madly in love with him. It worked before; it will work again.
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Steve Wilmot is a former Edgerton, Ohio area pastor who now seeks “to still bear fruit in old age” through writing. He is the author of seven books designed to assist believers to make steady progress on their spiritual journey.