By: Mike Kelly
Retired Pastor
I don’t think there is any such day as “Hug Your Pastor Day,” but there probably should be. True pastors didn’t get into the profession looking for a lot of thanks. Nor did they get into it looking to be roasted for dinner every week, either.
Pastoral ministry is one of the most rewarding and most demanding of vocations. Research consistently shows that pastors face higher levels of stress, burnout and mental health challenges than people in other professions.
Among doctors, who hold a high-stress job, only 28 percent want out, while 53 percent of pastors want out.
And do you know the greatest cause of pastors wanting out? YOU. More than any other factor, it all comes down to one thing: does the church actually make its pastor feel cared for?
Not all pastors are “good pastors” who pour themselves into their flock. The Bible calls the not-good pastors “hirelings,” who put themselves and their desires above the flock. John 10:11-13 says, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.”
“He cares nothing for the sheep!” His heart is about what is good for him. And the sheep know it! They respond with hesitation, avoidance and not fully committing to the pastor-congregant relationship.
People are generally not easily fooled. Even if they can’t put a name to it, they can feel the pastor’s heart. And they give little real support to the hireling.
But the majority of pastors, I hope, are not hirelings. They are men and women dedicated to God, called by God to do a difficult and sometimes nearly impossible job.
I know that to some it looks like a cakewalk, and to some of the lazy pastors it is exactly that. But to the dedicated ones, it is a hard, lonely, high-risk profession with little upside this side of heaven.
Ask yourself: Would you have the desire or ability to sit beside someone who is dying and talk about their coming death? Could you walk up to a door and tell a woman that her husband died in an accident a couple of hours ago?
Would you sit with a spouse in the ICU at 3 in the morning while waiting for the doctors to declare their spouse brain-dead? Are you willing and able to hug and cry with a couple who just lost their baby… then go out and perform a wedding two hours later?
Are you willing to stand before God and answer for your faithfulness to the calling he placed on you to lead the spiritual growth of your congregation?
And what about your personal integrity as you shepherded his people… did you manipulate or lead? And would you stand before 20 or 200 or 2,000 people every week, knowing that they aren’t looking for a speech?
They are looking for, and expecting, the Word of the Lord explained in a way that will grow and mature them.
Well, that is what your pastor signed up for when he or she answered God’s call. Isn’t that worth a hug, a card, a kind word or extra forgiveness when he or she blows it?
They aren’t doing the job for the applause, but a little appreciation would be like watering a dried plant… giving it renewed life.
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Mike Kelly is the founding pastor of Bryan’s Grace Community Church (retired) and Board Chairman of Bryan’s Sanctuary Homeless Shelter and Williams County’s Compassion (free) Medical Clinic.